Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t buy bullshit

Why does my cat get anxious during loud noises like thunderstorms or firework displays? Is this a common behavior for cats, and is there a way to help them cope with it?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I can count

Why does Africa have all mineral resources but she is suffering economically?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Which Shakespeare words have completely changed meaning in modern English?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

My religion teacher said that there are no atheists because in order to reject God, you must first have a concept of God, and if you have a concept of God, you are not an atheist. In what way is this true, if at all? Why?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

What is your first experience having sex with older men?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Are the seasons in Ireland different from those in Scotland, England, and Wales? Or are they just milder versions of each other?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

What are some cool confidence hacks?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

What is your response when someone says "how may I help you"?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I see through liars

How can the citizens of Russia accept the enormous difference between people? The richest 500 Russians own more than the poorest 99.8% of the entire Russian population combined. Why don't we see any protests?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I can read

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

If women see themselves as free, dignified, human beings just as good as men, can Trump hang it up and just lose in a landslide at last? How can men who like and respect women help improve womens' self-esteem?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Why is pornography still alive and not illegal? Why doesn’t the government do about tricking women into them?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I have a reading level above third grade

What was the most challenging shift you experienced as an ER physician? Can you describe the details and reasons behind it?

I actually pay taxes

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t cotton to rapists

I have an acute aversion to scumbags